If you’re happy in your relationship emotionally and mentally, but sexually frustrated and your partner is either unwilling or uninterested in creating a more satisfying sex life, you have the option to take lovers on the side. There are two ways to go about this: without telling your current lover, or by creating an open relationship.
There are some important things to consider when you plan on taking a lover without your current partner knowing. Before you act, think about the following: Are you comfortable with keeping that kind of secret? Are you prepared for any consequences that may happen if your current lover finds out about your new lover?
For some people, the rush of sneaking around is a huge turn-on, and the main reason for finding additional partners. For others, though, it may lead to added stress and ultimately take away from the pleasure you could be having. If your current partner finds out about your new relationships, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Your current partner could be ok with it, or could decide to end your relationship. Decide if it’s worth the risk and take steps to avoid getting discovered, for example:
Set up a dedicated email account for your extracurricular activities and always remember to log out of it after use.
Clear your browser history of all sites related to your affair, from hotels you’ve priced to restaurants you’ve checked out. Better yet, use the ‘private browsing’ mode of your web browser.
Keep your cellphone locked and make sure your partner doesn’t know the code. If he pays the cell phone bill, you might consider a second ‘work’ cell phone.
Don’t use credit cards for suspicious purchases like hotel rooms or restaurants, expecially if they’re out of town.
Buy separate birth control. There is no reason the amount of condoms you have should fluctuate unexpectedly within a committed, monogamous relationship. Dispose of any extra ones and used packages. Don’t keep them in your car or purse!
At the end of the day, the best way to not get caught cheating is to not cheat. If sneaking around isn’t your thing, try an Open relationship or a cuckolding relationship instead.
Open Things Up!
Talking to your man about the possibility of an open relationship could lead to the amazing sex that you’ve ben craving. Navigating an open relationship, though, can be tricky. It’s extremely important that you and your partner trust each other. If not, jealousy and insecurity are sure to rear their ugly heads. Setting up guidelines from the beginning may sound as unsexy as can be, but they will help to make sure both you and your partner are comfortable with the open relationship.
Some guidelines to consider:
- Is your new lover going to wine and dine you, or will it be purely sex?
- How many lovers will you take?
- Will you spend the night at your new lovers’ house?
- Is there a limit to how often you will see your new lover?
Will your current partner also be seeking new lovers? If yes, then your relationship is truly open. if not, you’ve entered into cuckolding territory, where you have additional lovers but he isn’t allowed the same pleasure (and why should he? He’s obviously happy with the amount of sex in the relationship already.)
Remember to make compromises when there needs to be. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, and the guidelines can evolve as your relationship does. A happy open relationship is dependent on keeping trust with your current long-term partner as the number one priority.
Leaving Your Current Relationship
Deciding to leave a relationship is never an easy decision to make. It involves a lot of emotional digging and introspection. It’s important to look at your relationship objectively, and do what’s best for you. You have every right to be selfish when it comes to your own happiness. Don’t let any sort of guilt keep you from leaving a relationship that doesn’t fulfill your emotional and sexual needs. You’ll have the opportunity to seek new lovers in an unrestricted way, and explore your own needs. If your sexual frustration goes deeper, if there’s a more profound unhappiness, this may be the option for you.
Don’t Give Up
It might not sound ideal, but keeping sex great isn’t always easy. There’ll be times when you opt for a quickie right before bed, or just decide to go straight to sleep-and there’s nothing wrong with that. It becomes a problem when that’s all there ever is, and you’re craving more. It’s up to you and your partner to be open-minded, to put in the effort, and to make the time for each other and for the fun, mind-blowing sex you want and deserve.