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The Greek Girl’s Guide to Feminism



 Thousands of bright-eyed young women enter college campuses across the country every September. If there is Greek life on campus, many will be faced with the decision of whether or not to rush. Joining a sorority can often seem like the biggest decision she’ll need to make at that momentbecause it can shape your entire college experience. If you’re still trying to figure out what and who you are, like many college freshmen, the idea of joining a sorority can be extremely appealing. Who wouldn’t want the big, terrifying world of college suddenly narrowed down to a close-knit group of girls?


But the reason that makes a sorority so appealing is also the reason why it can be daunting. College is supposed to be scary, unknown territory. It can be nerve-wracking to join a group might tell you how to dress, what to say, who to see. Based on the stereotypes of Greek life, freshmen girls might think there is a ring-leader in every sorority and she has to be mean to the incoming fresh meat – after all, what about hazing?


Today’s women grew up in a politicized environment. We are the children of the first and second waves of feminism, the products of the social upheavals and sexual revolution of the 1960s.  Women’s equality is a battle we’re still waging but now we’re winning it. We’re wiser at our age than our mothers were and have complete autonomy of our minds and bodies.  College girls may be attracted to the sisterly bonding and party girl image sororities have but the misogynistic history and structure of Greek life might be off-putting to some.  After all, “Greek” live gets its namesake (and letters) from ancient Greece, a society where women had no legal personhood and were assumed to be part of the oikos headed by the male kyrios.



How can this be reconciled?


As with most things, your experience depends on the sorority and it depends on the school. Joining a sorority is, by definition, overwhelming. If your school has fall rush, then you go from being a high school student, to a rushing freshman, to a sorority “new member.” If there’s winter rush instead, as soon as you understand college, you are thrown into completely different territory. Sorority members receive weekly social updates, telling the members where the parties and mixers are that week. Members’ inboxes are bombarded with quizzes, announcements, updates, schedule changes, and questions. As a new member, you want to attend every meeting and every event, for the fear of being left behind.


It can be difficult to find your feminist voice when you are trying to fit in like this.


When you are a new member in a sorority, it can be intimidating to speak up. You don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of the seniors, or in front of your own pledge class, for fear of alienating yourself. After all, even though they are your new sisters, you still need to form a genuine relationship with them. Greek life in general can sometimes feel like an uphill battle against feminism. The “hook up culture” is especially prominent amongst sororities and fraternities, and it can feel especially patriarchal, since all the parties and any sexual encounters are on the boys’ terms.


Set the Example, Be the Change


As you, the new member, become more comfortable with your pledge class, you will begin to talk about these issues with some of your new friends. It will start out innocuous, talking about everyone’s hook up horror stories on Saturday morning, and then talking about why we have to do a walk of shame after a night of carnal debauchery when the boys only have to do a walk. You may question the tradition of only have parties at fraternity houses, NEVER Sorority houses, and how terrifying it is to be there alone for fear of what could happen to you.


After you have the support of this small group of new sisters, your confidence grows. You plant seeds by questioning the patriarchal traditions that are part of Greek life. You realize stereotypes about sororities, or girls in general, are inherently wrong.


Speaking out about these issues doesn’t embarrass you in front of the seniors anymore. On the contrary, they’ve been thinking about these same issues for years and you begin building allies and winning over girls to your point of view. But overcoming several centuries of tradition won’t happen overnight.


Start a Sorority within a Sorority – Don’t just be a Greek, be a Spartan!


The status of women in most of the Greek world was similar to the status of women under the Taliban and other Middle Eastern countries today. But Sparta was different. Spartawas a prominent city-state in ancient Greece known for two things – their dominant military and a social structure that put women on equal – and sometimes superior footing – than the men in their society.


Observers from other Greek cities were appalled that, not only did Spartan women have opinions, they were not afraid to voice them in public.



Women were revered for their child-bearing capabilities and female Spartan babies were significantly more nourished than other female Greek children. In their youth, female Spartans competed in gymnastics, wrestling, foot and horse races. Women were also known to compete in the Olympics and other important athletic events, usually wrestling.


Women were educated to read and write and trained in the arts, music, dancing, and poetry. Under Spartan law, women could be landowners and inherit wealth from their fathers and husbands – something unheard of in the ancient world.


Spartan women, according to historians, were very open sexually. Visitors to ancient Sparta have written that married women could sleep with other men on a whim, leading some to believe they were polyandrous.


Consequently, Spartan women were allowed to divorce their husbands without fear of losing their personal wealth. As equal citizens of the community, women could divorce and were not required to or discouraged from remarrying.


In a frequently quoted incident, the wife of King Leonidas was asked why Spartan women were the only women in Greece who “ruled” their husbands. Gorgo replied, “Because we are the only women who give birth to men.”  In other words, only men with the self-confidence to accept women as equals were men at all.


With Sparta being a part of ancient Greece, imagine the attention and notoriety your Sorority would get by having a Spartan committee to advance female equality in the Greek system?


Membership has its privileges



One of the many wonderful aspects of being a part of a sorority is all the connections that are made. There is likely a girl in almost every club in the school, which puts sorority members in a unique position to create change and exert influence. You probably have connections to feminist groups on campus, to student government, and to hundreds of other clubs without even realizing it. If you wanted to sit in on a student government meeting, just send out an email blast to ask who’s in the club, and your sister will likely happily have you tag along.


Because of all the stereotypes there are about Greek life, many people think being a sorority girl and a feminist at the same time is contradictory. You can prove them wrong. You can show them that you can be feminine and sisterly and still have self-respect and be an outspoken feminist. The world just sees the letters you wear. But you, as the now experienced member, see all the wonderful sisters who wear the letters with you. You, as a member of Greek life, have a fantastic support system of young women trying to figure out the world and women’s issues just like you are. Again, depending on your school and your sorority, Greek life is likely a generally close-knit group. It’s not just your sorority. You have an unspoken bond with all the sororities and fraternities on your own campus, and anyone who wears your letters nation-wide. What once seemed intimidating to you now seems comforting. But to the rest of the world? Two hundred girls passionate about women’s rights? The world better watch out.

Women and Sexting: Why We Shouldn’t Be Ashamed

 Sexting.  The term was defined by the court in United States v. Broxmeyer (2010) as the exchange of sexually explicit text messages, including photographs, via cell phone. However, Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary claims the first known use of the word was in 2007.



Needless to say, sexting isn’t new–so why is it taking the world so long to accept sexting as an act of consensual sexual expression? More importantly: why are women the ones bearing the brunt of the shame?


In 2014, a number of women celebrities had their cell phones hacked, and their self-taken nude photos exposed to the internet. The torrent of victim-blaming and slut-shaming that followed was enough to make any woman second guess sexting for herself.


New York Times tech columnist Nick Bilton tweeted, “Put together a list of tips for celebs after latest leaks: 1. Don’t take nude selfies 2. Don’t take nude selfies 3. Don’t take nude selfies.” Ricky Gervais made a similar joke on Twitter: “Celebrities, make it harder for hackers to get nude pics of you from your computer by not putting nude pics of yourself on your computer.” Clay Aiken told the Washington Post, “Anybody who takes inappropriate pictures of themselves deserves exactly what they get.”


The stars affected by the recent mass leak of nude photos aren’t the first to be publicly shamed for their choices of sexual expression.


In 2007, Disney’s High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens fell victim to a similar trauma. Disney’s response? They chalked it up to a “lapse in judgment” by Hudgens, adding that they “hope she’s learned a valuable lesson.” The notion that sexting is wrong, and these women should never have done so in the first place removes the blame for the heinous crime of exploiting these photos from the hacker and instead places the shame on the women. The idea that these women behaved themselves inappropriately, and therefore deserve the humiliation they received is patronizing, and misogynistic.


What’s most unfortunate about the association of sexting with embarrassing behavior, is the sense of disgrace and disgust internalized by women who sext. We cannot ignore the gendered implications of these media bashings. The explicit message sent to women who sext is that they should not express their sexuality through any technological means. This attitude is part of a universal context in which women are denied their sexual agency, and their related behaviors are demeaned, criticized, and demoralized. These ideas manifest in women’s sense of dignity, ultimately leading women to feel as though they’ve done something wrong. If exposed, women feel required to defend their actions, but not their sexual agency.



Jennifer Lawrence, one of the stars most notably affected by the recent leak, told Vanity Fair, “I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.” Here, Lawrence, like so many other women, feels compelled to create an excuse for her behavior. Mary E. Winstead, another celebrity who had her privacy violated, tweeted “To those of you looking at photos I took with my husband years ago in the privacy of our home, hope you feel great about yourselves.” Winstead, here felt the need to highlight the fact that these photos are old, as if to say that she’s learned better since then. Vanessa Hudgens opted not to defend her actions and, instead, simply accepted the shame placed on her by the public. She issued an apology: “I am embarrassed over this situation and regret having ever taken these photos.”


Women should never need to defend their choices of sexual expression.  They shouldn’t have to explain themselves or their actions. The women affected by the hacking didn’t need to speak out at all. But they did, and it was so important that their voices were heard.


Although any type of conversation takes place between two or more parties, the parties most often penalized for partaking in a sexting conversation are women. Men are rarely shamed for sexting. Roxane Gay wrote, in an article for The Guardian, “The further away you are from living as a white, heterosexual, middle-class man, the less privacy you enjoy.” A woman’s choice of sexual expression never belongs to her. It is always the decision of the patriarchal society around her. So if a woman and a man involve themselves in a sexting conversation, and someone else becomes aware of it, the woman’s behavior is criticized. This criticism is often referred to as “slut shaming,” or, as described earlier, denying women their right to sexual agency.


There are, of course, documented cases in which men received incredibly negative attention for their sexting conversations, after having their privacy exposed to the media. Anthony Weiner was infamously thrust out of politics after enduring two instances of sexting photo leaks to the internet. However, right alongside with Weiner were “Weiner’s Women,” receiving a rivaling amount of negative attention. The women with whom Weiner engaged in sexual texting conversations were shamed by major media sources such as Fox News. Even the New York Times published an op ed, written by Susan Jacoby, demeaning the women’s behavior.


These media messages aimed at women who sext are intended to remind us that women cannot be sexual however and whenever they please. As Gay says, “We are never allowed to forget how the rules are different (for) girls.”


It’s not a shame that women sext; it’s a shame that in the year 2015, people are still offended that women dare to express themselves sexually.


“Don’t pretend like you haven’t sent nude pictures of yourself to someone you feel comfortable sharing with,” tweeted Alyssa Milano, another victim to the photo leak in 2014.


Regardless of the sexist and biased connotations of sexting, the morality of the activity in general remains in question, which is strange, considering it is the same sort of behavior one would normally partake in, were the conversation or exchange a face to face experience. If you would share your body with someone behind closed doors, what reason do you have to feel ashamed of doing the same via text?


Society vilifies sexually explicit conversations via text messaging, deeming the act to be deviant or perverted behavior. However, sexting, when not exploited by oppressors, is not the social evil that it is considered to be. In an age when most of our lives have distended to include the digital realm, it should be completely understandable that sexting is now a normal part of sexual expression.

Greek Girl on Hookups: Games are for Kids

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Delivery Project

 The meeting was about to start, most of the attendees had already arrived and had taken then seats.



Just as I was about to bring the meeting to order, Joe walked in. His slightly tanned skin showing up against the clean crisp white shirt he was wearing and his electric blue eyes looking across the room at me, sent a tingle all the way down my body and in between my legs.


Oh my, this was going to be a long day.


How was I going to control myself never mind the meeting, my clit was throbbing and I could feel the moistness between my legs, as I started to imagine where I would rather be and what I would rather be doing!


I started the meeting, it was all I could do to focus on the agenda for the day, thankfully my assistant was there to take the minutes and notes of the meeting, I knew I would be no good today.


It was going to take all my energy to concentrate as the programme director on this project and needed to direct the team, although at this point it felt as though there was only 2 of us in the room.


It was a long day, with shock waves shooting through my body every time Joe looked at me and oh his smooth seductive voice, washed over me as though his fingers were caressing every part of my body.


As the meeting came to a close and everyone was leaving, I offered to treat everyone to a drink in the hotel bar.


It turned out that everyone had to head off to other meetings or get flights/trains home, so it would another lonely night it a hotel, cela vie.


As I caught a cab to the hotel, I reminisced of the day and the emotions stirred in my pussy, the throbbing of my clit and the moistness between my legs, it had been a while since my body had been stirred like that.


As I walked into the hotel, the receptionist greeted me like a long lost friend, and offered me the key to my suite, the usual room for you, will you be joining us in the restaurant for dinner this evening, she asked.


Not sure at the moment, can I let me know when I get sorted, I will ring down if that’s ok. My mobile rang just as I was heading to the lift.


It was my husband, asking how my day had been, was there anything special that had happened. Had it been productive, Harry was a wonderful man, very kind and caring, but he had never been part of my world of delivery and budgets, he was a car enthusiast and was more than happy in his workshop with greasy hands all the way up to his elbows.  At the beginning of our relationship, Harry was a very good lover, we enjoyed sex but in the last year we had stopped going to bed at the same time and he didn’t seem to want to enjoy the physical side of our marriage anymore, it wasn’t a problem as we were both busy and we still loved each other.


I found a quite spot in the bar to chat to Harry about the day events and ordered a G&T to smooth out the tingling that was still racing through my body, Harry was a wonderful man, he loved me from the tip of my head to the soles of my feet (as he often told me) but Joe had really had a major effect on me today, I hadn’t felt that sexual chemistry for such a long time.


I knew I would need to have a long soak in the bath or a cold shower to compose myself.


I finished my call and G&T and made my way to the lift, I was busy checking my blackberry for emails and messages and the lift doors opened and I entered and pressed the button for my floor. As the doors were closing they bounced open again and who stepped through but Joe, OMG the shock that bounced through my body was electric….. My clit was throbbing again, my nipples were tingling and sore and hard as they pushed against the silk of my bra.



Joe stepped forward, sliding his hands around my neck, gently but firmly kissed me, pushing his tongue between my teeth and searching out my mouth, he pressed me against the wall of the lift and I could feel his hard cock against my belly, my pussy getting wetter and swelling with the excitement of what was coming.


The bell pinged as we reached my floor, we managed to compose ourselves enough to leave the lift and head for my room, the tension was building, I could feel the juices from my pussy at the top of my thighs, I knew what I wanted, what I wanted Joe to do to me and what I wanted to do to him.


I opened the door to my room, I walked in first, slipping my case to the side as I slipped off my jacket. I turned to face Joe, those electric blue eyes penetrating my very sole.


I pushed him against the wall and kissed him back as he had done in the lift, feeling his mouth with my tongue, imagining the ridges of his cock as I did so. I moved my hand down his body feeling the well-toned muscles under his shirt. I could feel his hard-on pushing against the crotch of his trousers, desperate to escape.


I slowly moved down his body, dropping to my knees, I loosened his belt and button and his cock bounced out, thick and hard, as I took him in my mouth and sucked hard, Joe let out a low moan, I knew he was enjoying every mouthful, I could taste him as his cock slid all the way to the back of my throat, the beads of cum that were escaping from his head, it was delicious.


Joe couldn’t take it anymore, he lifted me to my feet, undoing the buttons of my blouse and releasing my breasts from my bra, my nipples were hard and erect, I could feel his tongue working around my left nipple sending shocks through my body, Joe bit my nipple driving me crazy I couldn’t wait for him to start on my pussy.


Joe undressed me fully, discarding my clothes on the floor beside the bed, he told me to lie on the bed, I did what I was told, I was so looking forward to what was coming next.


Joe undressed and lay at the bottom of the bed, stroking my legs and kissing them as he worked up my body, those soft tender kisses driving me crazy, my naked pussy was swollen and throbbing, I was losing control.


Joe reached the top of my thighs and worked his way in between my legs, he could see how wet I was and slowly and deliberately sucked my clit, licking all the juices, working his tongue around my lips, he pushed my legs up and apart, sliding his tongue deeper inside me, tickling me with the tip of his tongue. I was so lost in the moment, then I felt his fingers slide inside me, two at first, searching deep inside, I felt them as he was slowly removing them, and then there were three and then four, oh the sensations were fantastic, overwhelming, I knew I couldn’t stop my orgasm for much longer, he was driving me mad. I could feel it building my pussy was starting to contract, Joe could feel it too, tightening around his fingers, he kept sliding them inside me, turning his hand as he did, to increase the sensations, then my body exploded, the contractions in my pussy, my back arching, I had no control, he pushed against the contractions inside my cunt, until I collapsed on the bed, he slid his fingers out and slid them into my mouth, tickling my tongue as he had done my clit, allowing me to taste my juices, he started to kiss me, and I could feel his body move on top of me, his cock sliding between my legs and inside me, stretching me has he did, his huge cock was rock hard, pushing deep inside me, I was off again, my body jumping and twitching to his every move.


Joe’s pace was building, his body strong and hard, just like is cock, I ran my hands down his chest and stomach feeling every muscle as he lifted is body from me as he worked deeper and harder inside my cunt, his cock pulsing as he thrust again and again, Joe’s eyes were fixed on mine, penetrating me just as his cock was,he let out a deep moan and exploded inside me, my every nerve ending contracting at the same time, I could feel his cock pulsing and shooting his cum deep inside me, again and again, he needed it just as much as I did.


As we lay there, I felt my pussy release his cock and he slid off and onto the bed beside me. Kissing and caressing my neck we lay together for a couple of minutes, Joe worked his way down my neck and onto my shoulder, the softness of his lips and the touch of his fingers, across my skin, I could feel every muscle in my body relax, it was bliss, lying there in the warmth of his arms and the plushness of the bed. I moved around so Joe could tickle the nape of my neck, with his finger tips and tongue, I was floating off into a satisfied snooze, his fingers working down my back, lingering down my spine and across my bum.


It was amazing laying there, all the stresses of the day gone feeling his warm body against mine, my skin tingling with the touch of his fingers and I felt his cock harden again, he was obviously feeling the same tingling as I was. Joes fingers worked around my bum, searching for my pussy again, I felt his fingers, push inside me again, getting wet sticky with my juices, as he removed them, he slide them up the crack of my ass and gently pushed against my ass hole, the shocks started again, like electricity pushing through my body, the excitement was taking over and I felt my body react, pushing backwards against his fingers. Joe gently worked my ass hole, teasing it until it opened a little, allowing him to push his finger inside, the sensations running through my body were incredible.  I was losing control again. Joe asked if it was ok to continue, you bet, I want you inside me.


Joe moved closer and I felt is hard cock slip inside my wet pussy, I was a little disappointed, but only a little, the sensations racing through my body, I knew I was going to enjoy this, but just then I felt Joe slide his wet cock out of my pussy and with a quick thrust he was inside my ass, the pain of his large rock hard cock disappeared quickly with all of my nerves hitting a new height of explosion. Joe pushed his cock slowly and deliberately deep into my body, I didn’t know it was possible. He continued to drive his cock hard and deep inside me, I couldn’t control myself, moaning and pushing back on his cock, I was coming again, it was incredible 3 times in one night, and in my ass, why had I waited so long to experience being fucked up the ass.


Joe pulled me up on all fours, so he could drive is cock deeper inside me, I was coming and there was no doubt about it, my cunt was throbbing and aching, I felt my ass tighten around Joe’s cock as I came, I let out a scream as I came and felt Joe explode inside my ass, working it until we were both spent.


We collapsed on the bed, hot, sweaty and exhausted, the air full of the smells of what had just happened and my cunt and ass aching after the amazing sex.


We lay there, enjoying the mood, I thought to myself,It’s going to be a long, very long project that we were delivering, 18 months of delivery, don’t think I will be using my gym membership much, but I intend to be very fit by the end of it all.


~Lesley R.

Edinburgh, Scotland

Birthdays Are For Sharing



 I wouldn’t call myself an introvert but I have always been a little shy when it comes to parties. Like last night, when I went solo to my guy  friend Dave’s birthday bash. Usually, I would know at least a handful of people at an event like this. But Dave had invited his whole office staff, none of whom I’d met before. I was acquainted only with the birthday boy and Jack, one of our friends from college. In minutes, I found myself hiding in the corner of the room, willing the time to pass so that I could make my escape.


That’s when Jack found me. He looked so handsome in his Levi’s and t shirt, as good looking as he was nine years ago at school. “You look scared, Laurel,” he said.


“Just a little shy,” I  responded.


“Why?”


“The crowd. The strangers. One on one, I’m completely confident.”


“What about two on one?”


I thought I might have misheard him over the music, so I waited for him to repeat himself.


“Dave asked me if you might consider a special sort of thirtieth birthday gift.”


Wow, I had heard him correctly. I’d nursed a crush on Jack since I’d first met him, and Dave and I had occasionally been each other’s fuck buddies through college and since. “Are you serious?” I asked.


He nodded. The look in his eyes was wolf like and hungry. I found my pussy was starting to get wet.


“How could we get away?” I asked, looking around at the roomful of guests.


“Nobody will mind,” Jack told me. “They’re all here for the free booze and food, anyway.”


I gazed across the room to where Dave was surrounded by admirers, but when he saw me looking, he made his way quickly through the crowd. I think he could tell by the expression on my face that I had decided to grant his birthday wish.


At my side, he gave me a quick kiss and said, “I’m so glad you came.”


I went up on tiptoes in my high heels. “I haven’t yet,” I whispered in his ear, “but I hope to soon.”


I pressed against him and felt that his dick was hard.


“Bedroom?” Jack suggested, his voice hoarse.

Taking another Lover

 



If you’re happy in your relationship emotionally and mentally, but sexually frustrated and your partner is either unwilling or uninterested in creating a more satisfying sex life, you have the option to take lovers on the side. There are two ways to go about this: without telling your current lover, or by creating an open relationship.


There are some important things to consider when you plan on taking a lover without your current partner knowing. Before you act, think about the following: Are you comfortable with keeping that kind of secret? Are you prepared for any consequences that may happen if your current lover finds out about your new lover?


For some people, the rush of sneaking around is a huge turn-on, and the main reason for finding additional partners. For others, though, it may lead to added stress and ultimately take away from the pleasure you could be having. If your current partner finds out about your new relationships, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Your current partner could be ok with it, or could decide to end your relationship. Decide if it’s worth the risk and take steps to avoid getting discovered, for example:


Set up a dedicated email account for your extracurricular activities and always remember to log out of it after use.

Clear your browser history of all sites related to your affair, from hotels you’ve priced to restaurants you’ve checked out. Better yet, use the ‘private browsing’  mode of your web browser.

Keep your cellphone locked and make sure your partner doesn’t know the code. If he pays the cell phone bill,  you might consider a second ‘work’ cell phone.

Don’t use credit cards for suspicious purchases like hotel rooms or restaurants, expecially  if they’re out of town.

Buy separate birth control. There is no reason the amount of condoms you have should fluctuate unexpectedly within a committed, monogamous relationship.  Dispose of any extra ones and used packages.  Don’t keep them in your car or purse!

At the end of the day, the best way to not get caught cheating is to not cheat. If sneaking around  isn’t your thing, try an Open relationship or a cuckolding relationship instead.


Open Things Up!




Talking to your man about the possibility of an open relationship could lead to the amazing sex that you’ve ben craving. Navigating an open relationship, though, can be tricky. It’s extremely important that you and your partner trust each other. If not, jealousy and insecurity are sure to rear their ugly heads. Setting up guidelines from the beginning may sound as unsexy as can be, but they will help to make sure both you and your partner are comfortable with the open relationship.


Some guidelines to consider:



  • Is your new lover going to wine and dine you, or will it be purely sex?
  • How many lovers will you take?
  • Will you spend the night at your new lovers’ house?
  • Is there a limit to how often you will see your new lover?

Will your current partner also be seeking new lovers? If yes, then your relationship is truly open. if not, you’ve entered into cuckolding territory, where you have additional lovers but he isn’t allowed the same pleasure (and why should he? He’s obviously happy with the amount of sex in the relationship already.)

Remember to make compromises when there needs to be. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, and the guidelines can evolve as your relationship does. A happy open relationship is dependent on keeping trust with your current long-term partner as the number one priority.


Leaving Your Current Relationship

Deciding to leave a relationship is never an easy decision to make. It involves a lot of emotional digging and introspection. It’s important to look at your relationship objectively, and do what’s best for you. You have every right to be selfish when it comes to your own happiness. Don’t let any sort of guilt keep you from leaving a relationship that doesn’t fulfill your emotional and sexual needs. You’ll have the opportunity to seek new lovers in an unrestricted way, and explore your own needs. If your sexual frustration goes deeper, if there’s a more profound unhappiness, this may be the option for you.


Don’t Give Up

It might not sound ideal, but keeping sex great isn’t always easy. There’ll be times when you opt for a quickie right before bed, or just decide to go straight to sleep-and there’s nothing wrong with that. It becomes a problem when that’s all there ever is, and you’re craving more. It’s up to you and your partner to be open-minded, to put in the effort, and to make the time for each other and for the fun, mind-blowing sex you want and deserve.

Not Getting Enough: The Scandalous Guide to Navigating Sexless Relationships





 We’ve been told time and time again that relationships lose their spark after a while. Couples who have sex several times a day eventually cool down to a few times a month. Work gets busy, people get tired, and couples fall into routines that mean sex is something that happens when you’ve already seen the episode of Shark Tank that’s airing on Friday night. We’re content, until that one day we realize we’re not.


If you find yourself in a relationship that has become lackluster in the bedroom, there are a few different routes you can take to regain sexual bliss. The obvious, but still not easy, choice is to put more effort into making things more exciting with your current partner. If your fantasy is to have multiple lovers, you have that option, and can either tell your man, or keep it a secret. The last choice is probably the most difficult to make, leaving your partner. Each of these routes has its own pros and cons, and none are a one-size-fits-all, but each choice can be modified to fit your needs.




Making Relationships More Exciting



If you think about your relationship, and find you’re happy and satisfied in every way but sexually, chances are you’ll want to try and make things more exciting with your current partner. If you’re not exactly sure how to do that, here are some fun options.


How to Sext the Right Way


Sexting is the perfect way to bring an unexpected spark into a relationship, especially when you and your lover are apart for a few days. It can be fun to do while either you or your partner is away on a trip, or even on any regular work day. Imagine coming home from work and instead of feeling exhausted, you’re sexually charged and excited to see a partner who’s equally aroused. But don’t just jump straight into sending each other Snapchats of your privates. Sexting is the ultimate foreplay, it should slowly build up sexual tension until you and your partner are practically begging to be reunited.


To start off, text you partner something unexpected like “I’ve been thinking about you all day, I want you so bad,” but make it as explicit as you can. Remember, descriptiveness is your best friend when it comes to sexting. You want your partner to be able to imagine every touch and sight as if it was really happening.


If your partner seems a little hesitant or shy, try asking them questions to get them going. Some good ones include: what’s something you’ve wanted to try in bed, but have been afraid to ask about? What’s the best sex we’ve ever had together? What’s your favorite positions? Etc. Asking each other questions gets the creative juices (and other juices) flowing and lets you both roll off of each other’s thoughts. You may find out something about your partner you never would have guessed.


Porn


Still think porn is for guys? Think again! Adult movies aimed at women and couples are the rage and watching it is no longer a solitary, secretive activity. The latest skin flicks are now watched by both women and men and can be great for relationships. Watching it together is a fun way to heighten arousal and initiate foreplay. If you’ve never watched porn with a partner before, and especially if you’ve never gotten into it by yourself, the idea of bringing it into the bedroom can be daunting.


It’s important to explore pornography by yourself first, to get a feel of what your limits are. If you jump into watching porn with your partner with no individual experimentation, it’s likely that you’ll feel uncomfortable. Take some time for yourself, find out what works for you, and think about if watching with your partner is something you’d be interested in.


Once you find what gets your motor going and feel comfortable enough to share that with your partner, the most important tip to remember is don’t be shy! If the idea of explicitly asking your partner if he wants to watch porn with you makes you feel bashful, there are other ways you can go about it. Surprise your man by having a dirty video up when he walks in the room-bonus points if he catches you pleasuring yourself. Once things get heated up, it’s always fun to try and act out the different positions as they happen on screen. Don’t worry if you’re not a flexible gymnast-the fun is in trying new things and discovering what works for you and your man.





These starting points are sure to help any relationship find their spark, but don’t stop there. Treat yourself to some high-quality lingerie. The sexier you feel, the more confident you’ll be in bed, the ultimate turn-on for your man. Don’t forget about toys either. Vibrators aren’t just for going solo, and toys like anal beads can help you explore a new type of sex. The key to exciting, rip-your-clothes-off sex is to avoid complacency. It’s not easy, and it actually takes a lot of effort, but keep pushing boundaries with your partner.

Dating a Male Stripper

 How about dating a male stripper? Do you consider it to be impossible? Yes, most girls think dating a stripper or a topless waiter is something to be on their “NOT TO DO” list, bearing in mind  those hen nights, girls night outs they gave extra attention, private parties, stage performances etc..  Girls tend to think they would never be able to go out as usual couples or dine out with families as they will always have to keep his stripper job as a hush-hush point.  Therefore being reluctant to take an extra step towards a hunk in judgment they are being sold in front of the rest of the women at a club.





However, keeping the traditional thought behind, have you ever thought of the bright side of your partner being a stripper, or perks of dating a male stripper? I’m sure most of you are not! But, women pay to watch them move, dance or for extra attention. They are professional entertainers who deal with hundreds of women, thus strippers are very much thoughtful people than ordinary guys you meet, they always be aware of your requirement, thus it is beneficial to date a man who understands you and entertain you in every other way.  You will get all sorts of entrainment free of charge while the rest of the world pays for him.


You really don’t have to lie when your friends and you wants to go to a stripper club, no excuses, no worries, you can enjoy your night as much as you want along with your friends at stripper parties and clubs,  nevertheless, you will be able to recommend good strippers for friends for their private functions moreover.


We are not here to discuss marriage, therefore why not enjoy your life a bit with a guy with good moves. Talented strippers make good money at the end of the day and who knows whether it will be the stepping stone for a long journey! Maybe marriage is on the cards! Maybe one of the guys on a new male strip club show in Melbourne might be your next date!


Forget the excuses and million reasons as to why not, but think of the brighter side of dating a male stripper or  topless waiter as the life is meant to be take pleasure in! Go get em girls!