We’ve been told time and time again that relationships lose their spark after a while. Couples who have sex several times a day eventually cool down to a few times a month. Work gets busy, people get tired, and couples fall into routines that mean sex is something that happens when you’ve already seen the episode of Shark Tank that’s airing on Friday night. We’re content, until that one day we realize we’re not.
If you find yourself in a relationship that has become lackluster in the bedroom, there are a few different routes you can take to regain sexual bliss. The obvious, but still not easy, choice is to put more effort into making things more exciting with your current partner. If your fantasy is to have multiple lovers, you have that option, and can either tell your man, or keep it a secret. The last choice is probably the most difficult to make, leaving your partner. Each of these routes has its own pros and cons, and none are a one-size-fits-all, but each choice can be modified to fit your needs.
Making Relationships More Exciting
If you think about your relationship, and find you’re happy and satisfied in every way but sexually, chances are you’ll want to try and make things more exciting with your current partner. If you’re not exactly sure how to do that, here are some fun options.
How to Sext the Right Way
Sexting is the perfect way to bring an unexpected spark into a relationship, especially when you and your lover are apart for a few days. It can be fun to do while either you or your partner is away on a trip, or even on any regular work day. Imagine coming home from work and instead of feeling exhausted, you’re sexually charged and excited to see a partner who’s equally aroused. But don’t just jump straight into sending each other Snapchats of your privates. Sexting is the ultimate foreplay, it should slowly build up sexual tension until you and your partner are practically begging to be reunited.
To start off, text you partner something unexpected like “I’ve been thinking about you all day, I want you so bad,” but make it as explicit as you can. Remember, descriptiveness is your best friend when it comes to sexting. You want your partner to be able to imagine every touch and sight as if it was really happening.
If your partner seems a little hesitant or shy, try asking them questions to get them going. Some good ones include: what’s something you’ve wanted to try in bed, but have been afraid to ask about? What’s the best sex we’ve ever had together? What’s your favorite positions? Etc. Asking each other questions gets the creative juices (and other juices) flowing and lets you both roll off of each other’s thoughts. You may find out something about your partner you never would have guessed.
Porn
Still think porn is for guys? Think again! Adult movies aimed at women and couples are the rage and watching it is no longer a solitary, secretive activity. The latest skin flicks are now watched by both women and men and can be great for relationships. Watching it together is a fun way to heighten arousal and initiate foreplay. If you’ve never watched porn with a partner before, and especially if you’ve never gotten into it by yourself, the idea of bringing it into the bedroom can be daunting.
It’s important to explore pornography by yourself first, to get a feel of what your limits are. If you jump into watching porn with your partner with no individual experimentation, it’s likely that you’ll feel uncomfortable. Take some time for yourself, find out what works for you, and think about if watching with your partner is something you’d be interested in.
Once you find what gets your motor going and feel comfortable enough to share that with your partner, the most important tip to remember is don’t be shy! If the idea of explicitly asking your partner if he wants to watch porn with you makes you feel bashful, there are other ways you can go about it. Surprise your man by having a dirty video up when he walks in the room-bonus points if he catches you pleasuring yourself. Once things get heated up, it’s always fun to try and act out the different positions as they happen on screen. Don’t worry if you’re not a flexible gymnast-the fun is in trying new things and discovering what works for you and your man.
These starting points are sure to help any relationship find their spark, but don’t stop there. Treat yourself to some high-quality lingerie. The sexier you feel, the more confident you’ll be in bed, the ultimate turn-on for your man. Don’t forget about toys either. Vibrators aren’t just for going solo, and toys like anal beads can help you explore a new type of sex. The key to exciting, rip-your-clothes-off sex is to avoid complacency. It’s not easy, and it actually takes a lot of effort, but keep pushing boundaries with your partner.