Orgasmic Benefits of Male Orgasm Denial

He knows how I like it,” explains Emily Darnell, a married advertising executive in her late twenties. She’s glowing as she details the sexual routine she has with her husband. “First he goes down on me, often for a half hour or so, and then when I’m right there on the verge of cumming, he enters me and fucks me viciously and I have such an intense orgasm.

She stresses those lost two words, eyes wide with excitement. Intense… orgasm.

“But not him. He isn’t allowed. He stops after I cum so we can have cuddle time and I think it’s so hot feeling his hard cock pressed against my ass, knowing it belongs to me and his pleasure is mine to give or withold. It is quite the power trip!”

Emily is just one of a growing number of women who practice erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial or orgasm control, a sexual practice in which a man is kept in a heightened state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time without orgasm. The length of time can range from hours and days to weeks and months.

“He’s much more attentive to me when he hasn’t cum for a while, much more willing to please me, to communicate with me.” says Emily. “He sees an orgasm as a reward for making me happy and I can extend that for days, even weeks.”

Do you want to be a sex goddess – treated like a queen – wave your magic wand and get what you want? Of course you do, and you deserve to have it. Oh, the fun doesn’t stop there – not at all. By practicing male orgasm denial, you will be powerful – pleasured – pampered. Your sex partner will place you on a throne and aim to please you in every way possible.

You see – you decide when your lover gets to cum. The truth is, men need help controlling their cock. Teasing and denying a man is exhilarating for you and sexy to him. Eventually, you allow your lover to have an orgasm as a reward for pleasing you. He actually respects and adores you more when you hold the key to his penis – rather literally or figuratively speaking – as some women do choose to use chastity devices.

When asked how she ensures her man isn’t masturbating, she said, “well – that’s the trick, he has to give you his word, and you have to let him know how disappointed you’ll be if he masturbates. Most guys who give control of their orgasm to you will slip. You’ll soon recognize the signs – he becomes less agreeable, and his sexual response time slows. You’re able to pick up on subtle clues.”

Kimberly Thomas, a recent college graduate, has a similar approach and says, “A guy’s whole demeanor changes after sex. After you get to know him, it’s really easy to tell if he’s jerked off. If I suspect it, I just extend the time until he can cum again. Sometimes I even withhold MY orgasm from him. He gets really disappointed if I don’t let him get me off. I just do it to myself while he watches.”

Benefits of Male Orgasm Denial

1. You’re in charge. He cums when you decide!
2. You’re the focus. Receive sexual and sensual pleasure the way you want and when you want.
3. You’re always desired. He’ll want you constantly.
4. The lines of communication are now open. He’s now more willing to share his thoughts and feelings with you.

There are numerous benefits to women who practice male orgasm denial, and don’t worry about him (just in case you were, and if you’ve ever had a man cum before you could climax, you’re absolutely not), because he will experience pure ecstasy as a result. He will enjoy hours of passionate sex, rather than a short session of fucking for release. And, when you do allow him to cum, it will be a mind-blowing, earth-shattering orgasm that will make him worship you even more. If you smoke, think about how much more you appreciate the puffs of pleasure after waiting longer than normal – or how electrified your entire being feels when you climax after a long sexual plateau. When he earns it, this is the intoxicating experience you give a guy, and it will benefit you in the end – as it should.
Your man will also gain heightened sensual sensitivity. Emily says, “My husband often jokes that he gets a hard on whenever the wind blows. I can just brush my hand across his cock, and it gets hard almost instantly.”

Make no mistake about it – Emily is in control – her lover enjoys the results of being dominated by a woman who has mastered this art.

“My husband has become my willing slave, LOL.”

Male orgasm denial is erotic for both partners, but it offers multiple benefits to women.

Electrifying Authority

Being in charge of a sexually aroused man is electrifying – both mentally and physically. Knowing you have the power to cause and prevent events from happening, as well as create the conditions, is exciting.

Kimberly says, “I feel very empowered. I mean, I control a very key part of his manhood.”

An Obedient Man Whose Goal is to Please

When an orgasm is a man’s end goal, his desire to please his woman fades away once he cums. On the other hand, when you control his orgasms, his goal is to please you in every way.

Emily says, “My husband doesn’t rush through sex, for sure! He showers me with attention, is very agreeable, and does most of the housework. See, with the promise he might get to orgasm, he doesn’t want to disappoint me.”

“I learned by experience that a horny man is an obedient man,” says Kimberly.

Orgasms – Orgasms – Orgasms

Since you decide when your man will be able to cum as a reward for pleasing you, he will make every effort to give you orgasms – rwith his cock – his tongue – a vibrator – any way you please. Some men can stay hard and please their woman as long as needed once they are used to restraining themselves from cumming. As a result, you can expect to have multiple orgasms.

When asked how she benefited from male orgasm denial, Kimberly said, “More orgasms more often for me. And he treats me like a queen. Do you think he’s after something? (wink)”

Thrilling Tease and Denial Games

Teasing and denying is fun, and it gives both sex partners a rush. When practicing male orgasm denial, you arouse your lover until he is on the verge of cumming, and then you make him stop – he is not allowed to cum. Tease and denial can take place during sex, but you can also get very creative by using sex toys.

Kimberly says, “Tease and denial is a very important aspect. I’m really into edging and brewing guys. I also like to use some emotional teasing – like when I’m cumming, I’ll say something like, ‘Don’t you wish you could cum? But you’re just not worthy.’ I’ve also told him in the past a man’s orgasm is for making babies, and since we’re not trying to make a baby, why does he need to cum? I’ve also reasoned with him that a woman’s orgasm is purely for pleasure. I guess this some kind of mild brainwashing? LOL.”

A Compliant Cock – Equals – A Blissful Babe

You see, when you tease your man and deny him an orgasm regularly, you are building his frustration tolerance; therefore, he becomes more fun to be with.

Increased Intimacy

When a man is teased and denied, he experiences a mindset change. As a result, he reacts much like a female does after an orgasm. He wants to be intimate and snuggle. This allows for a more like-minded, enjoyable relationship.

An Energetic Lover

When a man cums, his energy level declines. However, a guy who has his orgasms controlled has an increase in vitality due to built up sexual energy. The result is a man full of life who is willing to use his energy – by cleaning house – by taking you out – communicating – however you want.

Emily explains it this way – “In some spiritual beliefs like Taoism, orgasm control is encouraged to preserve a man’s strength and essence. Ever heard that old adage in sports that athletes should avoid sex while training? You know that brief moment after a guy comes where he gets emotionally distant and physically spent? Taoists call that ‘the little death,’” she said.

Getting Started

“Now, this arrangement isn’t for everyone. A guy has to really adore you before he’ll go along with it. Guys react to sex and if you’re sexual with them, they’ll become devoted to you.” Emily explained.

Some guys want a female to be in control of them and their orgasms. In fact, this is how Emily became familiar with male orgasm denial. She said, “I had a boyfriend my freshman year in college who was into Femdom. He encouraged me to pursue it, and one of the aspects was orgasm denial. I’ve since practiced it on other guys I’ve had relationships with.”

If you are interested in male orgasm denial, start with some fun teasing and denial games, but allow him to cum at the end. This will give your lover a taste of the advantages. In order to receive the benefits, you will have to talk your lover into allowing you to control his ejaculations – trickery won’t work, but will cause the opposite of what you want.

Keep in mind that you will have to increase the amount of time he goes without an orgasm gradually, but 2 weeks to 1 month is a good time frame. Emily demonstrates beautifully how to control a man’s ability to cum. When asked how long she typically witholds an orgasm from her fiance, she said, “About every 21 days, and this is after weekly edging and brewing. I’ve made him go two months on occasion, usually if he’s crossed me in some way. It’s funny how we don’t fight. He just knows if I get mad at him or disappointed in him, he won’t cum. I do like to change it up, so he doesn’t know when it’s coming (pun intended.)”

You are the bewitching beauty – he is the beast. The ability to tame him lies in your hands.

Have you mastered the art of male orgasm denial? If not, are you ready to start?

Terms to Know

Edging – Bringing your men to the edge of orgasm then stopping all stimulation, thereby preventing the climax. This can be done several times during one session of sexual activity or done repeatedly over a period of days or weeks. The goal is to withhold their orgasms for a period of time.

Erotic sexual denial – keeping your men in a high state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time without being allowed to orgasm.  Alternatively the phrase is also sometimes used to mean the total denial of genital stimulation.

Extended session – When your men are prevented from cumming until you decide to end “the session.” A session can be minutes, hours, days or longer.

Orgasm denial – see ‘erotic sexual denial’ above.

Orgasm control – see ‘edging’ above.

Total denial – When your men are forbidden from having orgasms. This is also often called chastity, where men have no genital stimulation at all (ever) and their only focus during sex in on your pleasure. 
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Male Orgasm Denial’s Roots in Ancient Philosophy

tao male orgasm denialTaoism is a philosophical and religious tradition that emphasizes living in harmony with the Tao. The term Tao means “way”, “path” or “principle.” Taoist sexual practices, literally “the bedroom arts”, are the way some Taoists practiced sex. These practices were also known as “Joining Energy” or “The Joining of the Essences”. Practitioners believed that by performing these sexual arts, one could stay in good health, and attain longevity.

The basis of all Taoist thinking is that qi (lifeforce) is part of everything in existence. Qi is related to another energetic substance contained in the human body known as jing (essense), and once all this has been expended the body dies. Jing can be lost in many ways, but most notably through the loss of body fluids. Taoists may use practices to stimulate/increase and conserve their bodily fluids to great extents. The fluid believed to contain the most Jing is semen. Therefore Taoists believe in decreasing the frequency of, or totally avoiding, male ejaculation in order to conserve life essence.

Many Taoist practitioners link the loss of ejaculatory fluids to the loss of vital life force: where excessive fluid loss results in premature aging, disease, and general fatigue. While some Taoists contend that men should never ejaculate, others provide a specific formula to determine the maximum amount of regular male orgasms. ''

She's Gotta Have It! The Savvy Girl's Guide To Cheating

My married friend Penelope, a theater critic, had the gleam of erotic love in her dark eyes as she described her deliciously uninhibited lust affair with James, an up-and-coming actor. “When I saw him on-stage, seething with raw sensuality, I felt as if someone placed a hand on my crotch and beckoned me,” she said. “I was so seduced by the sight of him that when I went backstage and he came on to me, I couldn’t resist. It was animal magnetism. He was my actor fantasy man. I had to have him! Had to — even though I was married to a man I adored!”

They had wild sex backstage in a tiny dressing cubicle, with their pants down around their ankles, her ass supported by a wobbly makeup shelf and his big hands. “It was the most exciting sex ever,” she recounted. “And I got addicted to it for about a year. I saw him every time he was in town. I met him in cheap hotels because the whole fantasy was too irresistible to ignore.

“One night, while James and I were together, my husband called. He thought I was just off on an assignment, reviewing a show. He said he missed me and loved me – just as James was behind me, sticking his tongue in my ear. I felt very slutty but it felt damn good! I got out of the affair before I got caught, though. I just felt I needed to live out the fantasy, and so I did. James helped me get it out of my system, and then I returned to my husband. I think I appreciated my husband even more – but I wouldn’t push my luck by cheating on him again… unless…”

Why Chicks Cheat

Sometimes a woman encounters a man she simply just has to have, a man so irresistible – and perhaps so titillatingly wrong that all her sane reasoning goes right out the bedroom window. She might, like Penelope, adore her hubby or boyfriend, yet allow herself to be lured into an affair with someone who offers more of the steamy, satisfying sex she craves. Sometimes the hottie in question is so fuckable and well-hung that a woman knows the relationship is just about good sex. She takes the plunge, but keeps her sights on her current, more sensible long-term situation. (Like when her investment banker beau is about to propose and the object of her unbridled lust is – and probably will continue to be – a starving actor.) A new man might fill a void, or at least temporarily make her feel fulfilled, but she doesn’t intend on leaving her spouse.

It’s Not Just The Means, It’s The Motion

While there are usually a multitude of emotions behind why a woman may stray from a marriage or serious relationship – lust, anxiety, insecurity, rage, nourishment, or a combination of these – she sometimes doesn’t know why she can’t resist a fling. We’ve all heard: “It just happened!”

Pleasures of the flesh aren’t necessarily the top reason why women stray. According to Dr. Ronnie Edell, sex therapist, sex can, for many women, be ranked fifth or sixth on the list of reasons. On the other hand, sex is numero uno for men.

“My husband ignored me after our baby was born,” says Jane, a paralegal. “So I ended up having a fling with someone at work who was also married. We both had something to gain, and the same amount to lose. We kept each other happy for a moment in time!”

Edell points out that 50% of women who work outside the home today stray, in contrast to 30 years ago, when the numbers weren’t nearly as high because so few women had jobs in the workforce.

Scandalouswomen believes you have as much right to extramarital nookie as your male counterparts but here’s the important point: Get in, get out, see if you can gain from it, and don’t – we repeat – don’t get caught. It’s the intuitive psychology and detail work that will make the difference between a hot but discreet fling and a devastating mistake.

Read on for some important tips.

Choose Your Fuck Buddy Well

If at all possible, try to become uncontrollably hot for a man who has more to lose by the revelation of your affair than you do. Safe sex isn’t only about condoms. Do your best to make sure your prospective hook-up isn’t mentally unstable or cruel. Juliet, a Santa Barbara housewife who had trouble ending an affair, concurs: “It was over between Bill and me, and he would not let it go for weeks afterward,” she explains. “It was creepy, and I felt stalked. He would call me at home and beg me to meet him. One time my husband heard me on the phone trying to convince Bill to accept the situation. After much hemming and hawing, I told my husband that I was talking to a girlfriend who was trying to cope with her husband’s leaving her. God, was that a close call!

Location, Location, Location

Although the back seat of a car is a classic trysting site, it’s not the optimum locale for great sex romps unless you’re extremely short or a professional contortionist. Local hotels and motels should only be used as – pardon the expression – a last resort. You’d be truly amazed at how many people can recognize your car parked in the lot of one of these places – even in the dark, from a gazillion miles away. As Hailey, a nurse, reveals: “My affair with the chief of surgery was quite a rush. And how clever we thought we were, ducking off to a nearby hotel for a ‘sex buffet’- until the day my hubby ended up doing some electrical work at a store in the strip-mall right next to the motel. My heart was stuck in my throat when he casually asked me at dinner, ‘Honey, did I see your car near the mall today?’ ”

A friend’s apartment is a better choice if you don’t mind the scheduling hassles, the possibility of being walked in on, and the very real threat of seeing your passionate-yet-discreet undercover affair being passed on to the world via your friend’s big-mouthed cleaning lady or neighbor.

Corporate apartments are plagued with the same annoying difficulties, and getting caught – literally with your pants down – could result in one or both of you getting fired faster than a speeding bullet, thus ending your current positions as members of productive society. In fact, you might be better off just fucking his brains out in your office or his, after hours, if you have a door that locks!

The trickiest and riskiest location is the space you share with your spouse or lover. Besides the fact that it’s tacky to share the sheets with a third party, there’s a strong chance you could be discovered in flagrante delicto. Not only that, if you’re one of those people who aren’t turned on by the threat of getting caught, the possibility of getting busted can be quite sexually inhibiting.

His place or yours is ideal, assuming that no one – no one — else in the world has a key. Renting or owning a separate living space specifically for the purpose of keeping your men on the side is best. Of course, this arrangement can get quiet expensive, what with a security deposit, utility bills and furnishings – but it’s the best bet for serious cheating.

Timing Is Everything

Indulging in your liaisons during mutual working hours is a good idea because you’re not supposed to be home anyway. A negative aspect, though, is that you’re on a time clock and are forced to get down to business right away, with little time for foreplay and afterglow. Telling your mate that you’re going on a girls’ night out is always a good alibi, assuming, of course, that the girlfriends you’re supposed to be with don’t give you a jingle to mingle during that slated span of time.

Professing to be out with a make – believe buddy carries the least potential for getting you hoisted up by your own straying petard. After all, a person who doesn’t even exist can’t inadvertently let your cat out of the bag. The most important things about making up an evasion is to never leave a paper trail and to always be able to cover your lies.

Successful Affairs Require Creativity

We can’t stress the importance of planning – and creativity – when it comes to covering your ass. Remember: Your aim is to have a successful, fun affair, not a heart-wrenching experience that will make you feel guilty forever. In order to pull this off, you have to be the kind of person who can use time-tested fibs to hide that you were (or will be) having untamed, passionate sex with your illicit playmate.

Some excuses to help you steal away for a few hours include:

1. You’re at your shrink. This works best if you don’t actually have one. Since it’s virtually impossible for psychology professionals to know whether or not you’re getting better, your “treatments” can go on indefinitely. Due to doctor/patient confidentiality, your partner can’t check up.

2. You’re at the gynecologist’s. Everyone knows that this takes about the same amount of time as a full-term pregnancy. Don’t bother to make up a preexisting condition. If your man asks, just tell him everything’s fine. If it turns out later not to be true, you’ll have the sympathy angle working for you.

3. You’re going to visit a friend in the hospital. If you tell your partner that she just had some “female surgery,” chances are he won’t ask for details on her condition.

Excuses for extended time periods like weekends and vacation take a bit more imagination. If pushed to the wall, you can claim you will be:

1.    On a spiritual retreat.

2.    Serving sequestered jury duty.

3.    Helping a friend move to a faraway city.

4.    taking a much needed weekend away in the country to collect your thoughts – solo, of course.

5.    Going to a class reunion.

The ugly truth is that no matter what a woman does to cover up a surreptitious dalliance, there’s a chance that some third party is going to find out about it. (Whether they blab or not is a whole different issue.) Ultimately, almost everything private is public, via big mouths or the men’s room wall.

Face it: Out-of-relationship messing around can be a lot of work. Complicated? Sure. Worth the effort? That’s up to you.

The Ten Commandments of Cheating

1. Always shower before leaving your encounter. Even if you don’t think you’ll run into anyone, why take the chance of challenging his olfactory nerves? Also, don’t use scented soaps. Even if the soap is your brand, a fresh soap scent is a dead giveaway that you’ve been bathing around.

2. Never mention your lover’s name, even in casual conversation.

3. Don’t volunteer too many details about where you’ve been and what you’ve been up to. Too much info is a sign of a rank amateur. Be vague.

4. Vary your time away so he doesn’t get suspicious.

5. Watch out for pet hair on your clothes – especially if you don’t own a pet. Pay particular attention to locations such as your backside and items like your underwear or a cloth purse.

6. Do everything in your power, short of a blatant criminal act, to make sure your lovers don’t get caught, either. What goes around comes around – right back to you.

7. No matter how much fun it would seem like, never, ever take pictures during your time together.

8. Always practice safe sex. How would it look if you suddenly developed a disease that he knows he didn’t give to you?

9. Don’t return home in a suspiciously good mood – even if it was the best lay you’ve ever had.

10. Don’t cheat in order to get even.

Look But Dont Touch

You say that, for whatever reason, you’d never sexually stray from your steady boyfriend or husband, but you’d like to at least do a little mental roaming? There are some hot ways to cheat on your lover with your hands off and your brain on.

Get online and take a wild, erotic ride into the steamy world of cybersex. There are tons of choices — chat rooms, live webcam sites, and more – broken down in categories by fetish, gender predilection, act preferences – you can pop on and off at your convenience, and the real beauty of it all is that you can remain totally anonymous. Go on – get as explicit as you like! It’s discreet and avoids the fear of paper trails and suspicious phone calls.
Phone sex is another choice – and it isn’t just for men! Call up someone, instruct him to say the kinds of things that get you really hot, and masturbate to your heart’s content in the privacy of your own home.

Consider starting up a correspondence with someone by mail. Find a guy who’s got a romantic way with words and send each other titillating missives. Find a book of sonnets in the library and borrow some lines to add a bit of spice to your own words.

How about flexing those flirting muscles and starting up friendly little conversations with men you meet in your day – to – day life. Grab a cute guy in the supermarket produce department and ask him if iceberg lettuce tastes better than romaine. Spot a hot hunk in the bookstore and ask him to recommend a great new novel. Snag a man at the driving range to help you with your swing. Innocuous conversations such as these can really put a spark in your day and remind you of just how sexy you really are!


Take in a male strip club either solo or with friends and get wild with a naked guy dancing for you enjoyment.

Sometimes there’s no good reason for a woman not to seek sensuality in the arms of another; for example, when she’s emotionally detached from her mate, but for a variety of reasons, is unable to detach herself physically (usually due to kids, and the fact that the car and house are in his name).

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The Bachelorette

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The Bitter Single

We ditched the guy but he moved on quicker than we would have liked. As we scroll through our Instagram feed and see his goofy grin as he’s snuggled up with that girl he always claimed was “just a friend”, we’re tempted to click that unfollow button. Manservantsnow offers a month of Instagram stalking from one of their sexy servants for only $30 a month. They’ll like your photos and write flirty comment on your posts, which will surely drive your ex insane!

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The L.D.B.F.F.s

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