They had wild sex backstage in a tiny dressing cubicle, with their pants down around their ankles, her ass supported by a wobbly makeup shelf and his big hands. “It was the most exciting sex ever,” she recounted. “And I got addicted to it for about a year. I saw him every time he was in town. I met him in cheap hotels because the whole fantasy was too irresistible to ignore.
“One night, while James and I were together, my husband called. He thought I was just off on an assignment, reviewing a show. He said he missed me and loved me – just as James was behind me, sticking his tongue in my ear. I felt very slutty but it felt damn good! I got out of the affair before I got caught, though. I just felt I needed to live out the fantasy, and so I did. James helped me get it out of my system, and then I returned to my husband. I think I appreciated my husband even more – but I wouldn’t push my luck by cheating on him again… unless…”
Why Chicks Cheat
Sometimes a woman encounters a man she simply just has to have, a man so irresistible – and perhaps so titillatingly wrong that all her sane reasoning goes right out the bedroom window. She might, like Penelope, adore her hubby or boyfriend, yet allow herself to be lured into an affair with someone who offers more of the steamy, satisfying sex she craves. Sometimes the hottie in question is so fuckable and well-hung that a woman knows the relationship is just about good sex. She takes the plunge, but keeps her sights on her current, more sensible long-term situation. (Like when her investment banker beau is about to propose and the object of her unbridled lust is – and probably will continue to be – a starving actor.) A new man might fill a void, or at least temporarily make her feel fulfilled, but she doesn’t intend on leaving her spouse.
It’s Not Just The Means, It’s The Motion
While there are usually a multitude of emotions behind why a woman may stray from a marriage or serious relationship – lust, anxiety, insecurity, rage, nourishment, or a combination of these – she sometimes doesn’t know why she can’t resist a fling. We’ve all heard: “It just happened!”
Pleasures of the flesh aren’t necessarily the top reason why women stray. According to Dr. Ronnie Edell, sex therapist, sex can, for many women, be ranked fifth or sixth on the list of reasons. On the other hand, sex is numero uno for men.
“My husband ignored me after our baby was born,” says Jane, a paralegal. “So I ended up having a fling with someone at work who was also married. We both had something to gain, and the same amount to lose. We kept each other happy for a moment in time!”
Edell points out that 50% of women who work outside the home today stray, in contrast to 30 years ago, when the numbers weren’t nearly as high because so few women had jobs in the workforce.
Scandalouswomen believes you have as much right to extramarital nookie as your male counterparts but here’s the important point: Get in, get out, see if you can gain from it, and don’t – we repeat – don’t get caught. It’s the intuitive psychology and detail work that will make the difference between a hot but discreet fling and a devastating mistake.
Read on for some important tips.
Choose Your Fuck Buddy Well
If at all possible, try to become uncontrollably hot for a man who has more to lose by the revelation of your affair than you do. Safe sex isn’t only about condoms. Do your best to make sure your prospective hook-up isn’t mentally unstable or cruel. Juliet, a Santa Barbara housewife who had trouble ending an affair, concurs: “It was over between Bill and me, and he would not let it go for weeks afterward,” she explains. “It was creepy, and I felt stalked. He would call me at home and beg me to meet him. One time my husband heard me on the phone trying to convince Bill to accept the situation. After much hemming and hawing, I told my husband that I was talking to a girlfriend who was trying to cope with her husband’s leaving her. God, was that a close call!
Location, Location, Location
Although the back seat of a car is a classic trysting site, it’s not the optimum locale for great sex romps unless you’re extremely short or a professional contortionist. Local hotels and motels should only be used as – pardon the expression – a last resort. You’d be truly amazed at how many people can recognize your car parked in the lot of one of these places – even in the dark, from a gazillion miles away. As Hailey, a nurse, reveals: “My affair with the chief of surgery was quite a rush. And how clever we thought we were, ducking off to a nearby hotel for a ‘sex buffet’- until the day my hubby ended up doing some electrical work at a store in the strip-mall right next to the motel. My heart was stuck in my throat when he casually asked me at dinner, ‘Honey, did I see your car near the mall today?’ ”
A friend’s apartment is a better choice if you don’t mind the scheduling hassles, the possibility of being walked in on, and the very real threat of seeing your passionate-yet-discreet undercover affair being passed on to the world via your friend’s big-mouthed cleaning lady or neighbor.
Corporate apartments are plagued with the same annoying difficulties, and getting caught – literally with your pants down – could result in one or both of you getting fired faster than a speeding bullet, thus ending your current positions as members of productive society. In fact, you might be better off just fucking his brains out in your office or his, after hours, if you have a door that locks!
The trickiest and riskiest location is the space you share with your spouse or lover. Besides the fact that it’s tacky to share the sheets with a third party, there’s a strong chance you could be discovered in flagrante delicto. Not only that, if you’re one of those people who aren’t turned on by the threat of getting caught, the possibility of getting busted can be quite sexually inhibiting.
His place or yours is ideal, assuming that no one – no one — else in the world has a key. Renting or owning a separate living space specifically for the purpose of keeping your men on the side is best. Of course, this arrangement can get quiet expensive, what with a security deposit, utility bills and furnishings – but it’s the best bet for serious cheating.
Timing Is Everything
Indulging in your liaisons during mutual working hours is a good idea because you’re not supposed to be home anyway. A negative aspect, though, is that you’re on a time clock and are forced to get down to business right away, with little time for foreplay and afterglow. Telling your mate that you’re going on a girls’ night out is always a good alibi, assuming, of course, that the girlfriends you’re supposed to be with don’t give you a jingle to mingle during that slated span of time.
Professing to be out with a make – believe buddy carries the least potential for getting you hoisted up by your own straying petard. After all, a person who doesn’t even exist can’t inadvertently let your cat out of the bag. The most important things about making up an evasion is to never leave a paper trail and to always be able to cover your lies.
Successful Affairs Require Creativity
We can’t stress the importance of planning – and creativity – when it comes to covering your ass. Remember: Your aim is to have a successful, fun affair, not a heart-wrenching experience that will make you feel guilty forever. In order to pull this off, you have to be the kind of person who can use time-tested fibs to hide that you were (or will be) having untamed, passionate sex with your illicit playmate.
Some excuses to help you steal away for a few hours include:
1. You’re at your shrink. This works best if you don’t actually have one. Since it’s virtually impossible for psychology professionals to know whether or not you’re getting better, your “treatments” can go on indefinitely. Due to doctor/patient confidentiality, your partner can’t check up.
2. You’re at the gynecologist’s. Everyone knows that this takes about the same amount of time as a full-term pregnancy. Don’t bother to make up a preexisting condition. If your man asks, just tell him everything’s fine. If it turns out later not to be true, you’ll have the sympathy angle working for you.
3. You’re going to visit a friend in the hospital. If you tell your partner that she just had some “female surgery,” chances are he won’t ask for details on her condition.
Excuses for extended time periods like weekends and vacation take a bit more imagination. If pushed to the wall, you can claim you will be:
1. On a spiritual retreat.
2. Serving sequestered jury duty.
3. Helping a friend move to a faraway city.
4. taking a much needed weekend away in the country to collect your thoughts – solo, of course.
5. Going to a class reunion.
The ugly truth is that no matter what a woman does to cover up a surreptitious dalliance, there’s a chance that some third party is going to find out about it. (Whether they blab or not is a whole different issue.) Ultimately, almost everything private is public, via big mouths or the men’s room wall.
Face it: Out-of-relationship messing around can be a lot of work. Complicated? Sure. Worth the effort? That’s up to you.
The Ten Commandments of Cheating
1. Always shower before leaving your encounter. Even if you don’t think you’ll run into anyone, why take the chance of challenging his olfactory nerves? Also, don’t use scented soaps. Even if the soap is your brand, a fresh soap scent is a dead giveaway that you’ve been bathing around.
2. Never mention your lover’s name, even in casual conversation.
3. Don’t volunteer too many details about where you’ve been and what you’ve been up to. Too much info is a sign of a rank amateur. Be vague.
4. Vary your time away so he doesn’t get suspicious.
5. Watch out for pet hair on your clothes – especially if you don’t own a pet. Pay particular attention to locations such as your backside and items like your underwear or a cloth purse.
6. Do everything in your power, short of a blatant criminal act, to make sure your lovers don’t get caught, either. What goes around comes around – right back to you.
7. No matter how much fun it would seem like, never, ever take pictures during your time together.
8. Always practice safe sex. How would it look if you suddenly developed a disease that he knows he didn’t give to you?
9. Don’t return home in a suspiciously good mood – even if it was the best lay you’ve ever had.
10. Don’t cheat in order to get even.
Look But Dont Touch
You say that, for whatever reason, you’d never sexually stray from your steady boyfriend or husband, but you’d like to at least do a little mental roaming? There are some hot ways to cheat on your lover with your hands off and your brain on.Get online and take a wild, erotic ride into the steamy world of cybersex. There are tons of choices — chat rooms, live webcam sites, and more – broken down in categories by fetish, gender predilection, act preferences – you can pop on and off at your convenience, and the real beauty of it all is that you can remain totally anonymous. Go on – get as explicit as you like! It’s discreet and avoids the fear of paper trails and suspicious phone calls.
Phone sex is another choice – and it isn’t just for men! Call up someone, instruct him to say the kinds of things that get you really hot, and masturbate to your heart’s content in the privacy of your own home.
Consider starting up a correspondence with someone by mail. Find a guy who’s got a romantic way with words and send each other titillating missives. Find a book of sonnets in the library and borrow some lines to add a bit of spice to your own words.
How about flexing those flirting muscles and starting up friendly little conversations with men you meet in your day – to – day life. Grab a cute guy in the supermarket produce department and ask him if iceberg lettuce tastes better than romaine. Spot a hot hunk in the bookstore and ask him to recommend a great new novel. Snag a man at the driving range to help you with your swing. Innocuous conversations such as these can really put a spark in your day and remind you of just how sexy you really are!
Take in a male strip club either solo or with friends and get wild with a naked guy dancing for you enjoyment.
Sometimes there’s no good reason for a woman not to seek sensuality in the arms of another; for example, when she’s emotionally detached from her mate, but for a variety of reasons, is unable to detach herself physically (usually due to kids, and the fact that the car and house are in his name).